Marriage Guidelines

St. Anthony of Padua Parish

Marriage Guidelines

The Sacrament of Marriage

Marriage is a holy covenant in which a man and a woman enter into a life-long partnership of mutual love and commitment. It has been raised by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament when celebrated between Christians.

The partnership is naturally directed to two purposes:

The good of the spouses, and
the procreation of children.

This partnership has two essential properties:

Unity (exclusivity), and
indissolubility (permanence).

We are here to help you prepare well for this holy commitment. Your love for each other proves God's love for us and so it is important to begin your preparations for the life of marriage, and only then plan to start the details of your wedding.

Procedures for Planning a Wedding

1. Only parishioners of St. Anthony of Padua Parish may marry in our parish unless the couple has some association with the parish. The couple must speak first with the priest about any possible arrangements. Parishioners wishing to marry in another parish will need the permission of the Pastor and be expected to participate in a marriage preparation program. The priest or deacon witnessing the marriage should handle the prenuptial papers.

2. If one of the couple is not Catholic, you may be planning to marry outside the Church. If so, a priest may be invited to attend. However, any time a Catholic wishes to marry outside the Church for a just cause, a dispensation is necessary for the marriage to be valid.

3. Several meetings with a priest will take place during which your readiness for the Sacrament of Marriage will be discerned. During this time the necessary prenuptial papers will be completed. You will need to acquire a recent copy - within the last six months - of your Baptismal certificate with any notations.

4. The couple must participate in a form of formal marriage preparation, either Pre-Cana, an Engaged Encounter Weekend, or an Evening for the Engaged. Information regarding these programs is available at the Diocesan Office for Marriage and Family Life and from the parish secretary.

5. As standard procedure, we only schedule weddings for registered parishioners. It is important that the priest and parish get to know you, if they do not already. Your attendance at Mass helps assure us of the sincerity of your beliefs and your willingness to accept the responsibilities and obligations of the Sacrament of Marriage.

6. The parish follows all pertinent Diocesan guidelines for the celebration of Marriage.

Preparations for the Liturgy

Times and Seasons

1. The celebration of Marriage during the seasons of Advent and Lent is discouraged because of the special focus of these days. Weddings may be celebrated during Advent and Lent, but they must be in keeping with the spirit of the season; they must be simple, without flowers, grand music or other decoration. Pastoral concerns make weddings during the Octaves of Christmas and Easter difficult, though they are still possible.

2. Weddings are normally celebrated on Friday evenings or on Saturdays at 11:00 a.m. or 2:00 p.m. Those celebrating afternoon weddings must keep in mind that the church needs to be vacant by 3:30 p.m. for Confessions. Other arrangements may be made for the validation of a civil marriage that took place outside the Church.

3. A rehearsal for the members of the wedding party will be scheduled with the priest.

4. Your behavior and that of your wedding party should show respect for the Church and the Sacrament into which you seek to enter. Anyone judged to be under the influence of any drug or alcohol - or who manifests inappropriate behavior - will be asked not to participate.

Options for Celebration

1. The options for the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage are within the context of a Liturgy of the Word or within the context of the Holy Mass.

2. The validity of your marriage requires the presence of a priest or deacon and two witnesses (unless a dispensation has been requested and granted). The Church seeks to maintain the obvious importance of these two witnesses. Therefore, we suggest you limit the number of the attendants in your wedding party.

3. The guests that you invite to your wedding should be invited to lend prayerful support. The celebration of your marriage will seem incomplete unless it is filled with song and prayer in which all gathered can fully participate.

4. Hospitality toward the congregation may be provided by ushers who may welcome the guests, distribute programs and assist in seating. It is not necessary to separate your guests by their relationship to you. The whole congregation should seem as one in their joy and willingness to participate in your wedding. An additional duty of the ushers will be to make sure the church is restored to cleanliness in keeping with the dignity of the building.

5. Qualified and trained Readers and Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, as well as altar servers, may be chosen for service in the Liturgy. These may be chosen from among the ministers currently serving in the parish.

6. Musicians may be chosen from the parish ministers who must be consulted to approve selections and non-parish musicians. A cantor may significantly enhance the participation of the assembly.

7. Since the wedding celebration is the worship of God, music before, during and after the ceremony must meet the guidelines established by the Diocese. These guidelines state that the music must be suitable for the liturgical and sacramental nature of the celebration. This excludes any type of "popular" music or stage, screen and radio.

Particular Policies

Fees

1. The customary offering for a wedding as established by Diocesan policy is $100. This money goes to the parish to pay for the upkeep of the church, electricity, etc. and not to the priest. Anyone wishing to give a monetary gift to the priest for his services should do so separately and in addition to the church fee. All fees are payable prior to the wedding and may be left at the parish office during office hours.

2. It is customary to offer a stipend to each altar server. Musician's fees should be discussed with the musician and paid in advance.

Photography and Videography

1. You may have the wedding videotaped, but the camera(s) must be placed either in the choir loft or at one of the pillars in the pews. Cameras of any kind are not permitted in the sanctuary.

2. Photographs may be taken by one photographer who should aim to be as inconspicuous as possible. They are not to enter the sanctuary at any point during the Liturgy. We encourage still photographs be taken before the wedding, but if you choose to take them after the wedding you are limited to a period of thirty minutes from the end of the Liturgy. Care should be taken that all people act with due reverence and not turn the church into a studio.

Decorations

1. Because the decorations should never prohibit the flow of movement in the sanctuary or nave, we do not allow candles to be attached in any way to the pews. If you wish to decorate the pews with flowers or bows, etc., do not use tape, staples or glue or otherwise damage the pews. Rather than using bows and flowers as "reserved" signs, please consider using the same decorations throughout the whole of the church.

2. To ensure the authenticity of Catholic worship, fresh flowers are most appropriate, although silk may be used. You may use flowers to decorate those areas of importance in the Liturgy, with priority being given to: (a) near but not on the altar; (b) the ambo/pulpit; and, (c) the gathering space.

3. A wedding which takes place within the Holy Mass requires the use of two candles on or near the altar. The use of other candles or candelabra is highly discouraged in order to emphasize the presence of the two altar candles.

4. Because of the needless expense and the danger presented to older guests, aisle runners are not permitted.

After the Liturgy

Receiving Line

The guest book and receiving line are reserved for the wedding reception. They are not a part of the wedding rite. However, if you would like to welcome your guests as they arrive to help you celebrate your marriage, you may foster a sense of welcome and hospitality.

Rice and Bird Seed

As the custom of throwing rice is a pagan fertility ritual, it will not be permitted. The throwing of bird seed or any other object is likewise not permitted.

Optional Customs

In our culture many people have used the trite symbolism of the unity candle to express the union of marriage. It must be noted, however, that the unity candle is not part of the Catholic rite and is discouraged.

Should you have any questions about anything above, please contact one of the priests.

Need driving directions?

Office Hours: 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.

P.O. Box. 764

Effingham, Illinois 62401

Tel.: (217) 347-7129

Fax: (217) 342-6980